Things I’ve Learned:
1. Try to learn at least _something_ in German. So far, all I know is “Hallo” and “Ausfahrt” (exit). Oh and “danke” and “bitte.” It’s not helping much.
2. If you really can’t learn any of the language, smile apologetically and keep on smiling while trying to communicate with mime.
3. Never go to a small town in Germany on Saturday afternoon or Sunday until you have been to a markt. There’s no food available.
4. If you do go to a small town in Germany on a Saturday afternoon or Sunday, pray that they have chickens.
5. Be sure to laugh with much more gusto when husband says, “Jet lag? I’ve already adjusted to German time,” upon arrival instead of smiling knowingly.
6. Watch out for irate shetland ponies who bite your boob.
7. Get cool soap holder. (Metal bar extended from wall, attach magnet to bottom, insert beer bottle cap into bar of soap, bar of soap attaches to hanging bar and no goopy soap collects on sink ledge.)
8. Must learn more about these huge farmhouses. Why did they need it to be so big in the past? Our hosts speak minimal English and have cows for meat and lumber mill.
9. To Europeans, we are known as “Americans.” To Americans, we are known as “United Statians.”